From the journal of Ben's Mom

May 26, 2001

Today, Ben had his 1st special needs
t-ball game. Up at sunrise, I found
him sitting on the couch, his red
baseball jersey on (backwards, of course), hat perched high on his head, waiting, ready to play.

Usually so shy, he eagerly ran out on the field yelling, "I hit that ball run home base." Up at bat, he hit, threw the bat to the ground like a pro and set off running. And boy did he run! Another boy tagged him but Ben paid no attention to him and kept on running. He needed to get to home base.

Rounding third, he shot me an all out, ear-to-ear grin. And then it hit me - sometimes he's so regular. Simultaneously, I was filled with an unyielding sense of sorrow and overwhelming joy. I find the "regular" moments in life intensely profound and extremely painful. Even as I ache for them to last, I wonder if it wouldn't be easier if they never tempted me at all.

Tonight as I tucked Ben into bed, he exclaimed "'Morrow I go football. I get that ball run down the field." Run Ben. Run hard and fast. Daddy and I will block when we can, but the
field is long and the tackles many.
I'm sorry I can't promise you a
touchdown.


Ben & His Friends | Meet My Ben | Ben & His Dog
Ben's Last Day | Morning Breakfast | Ben's Words
Big Ben | The Farmers Prayer